Here's a Tip

So there I am having the mandatory "black lunch" between myself and two of the only other black co-workers at my job. I reach for the ketchup to put a little extra "umph" into my already quite tasty burger and somewhere along the way I found a way to spill ketchup all over my new Obama T-shirt. And when I say all, trust me, I mean ALL.

The cap flew off the top of the bottle and landed in my glass of water. The waiter came out, and I, after cleaning half a bottle of ketchup off of myself, asked him if he could bring me another napkin. He says, "No, problem," and, as he hastily reached for the napkin the ketchup soaked cloth squished triumphantly into his delicately manicured hand. He cringes. Then he looks over at my cup, sees the bottle cap that has clearly sank to the bottom of my freshly poured glass of water, and says, "What happened... here? (incredibly vocal sigh)" Then takes my cup and walks away, almost sadly.

So this blogpost goes out to you, waiter-at-5Napkin-Burger-who-probably-thinks-I-am-a-tremendous-ass. I know you probably went back to the kitchen with that glass like "what THEE fuck KING FUCK!!!"

I mean, I admit, we were far too old to be playing around shooting bottletops into water glasses, which is why I can understand why you would walk past our out stretched hands and constant "excuse me's". Surely, people like us didn't deserve your attention. And honestly, I actually deserved to sit at the table for 43 minutes with an empty water glass. We were quite obviously too immature to be thirsty. I salute you sir for being observant enough to wait until the flies started swooping in on our empty plates to come pass and ask if we needed some help. So thank you sir, for all the good times.

Signed,

Regular 'Shoutingouthisshirt4theweekenD' Et Cetera

Eff the Trooric!