Anyway, as I sat there trying to not watch the Wendy's girl paw all over Patty Mayonnaise's (definitely EX after she reads this) boyfriend, my mind drifted back to a purer time. The days when I was a young boy/man, fueled by hormones, sugary drinks, and unsurmountable horniness. Actually, now that I think about it, those times weren't really purer at all.
So as I stood there trying to look around the two 9th graders fucking each other with their clothes on, I feel a look of utter disgust beginning to wash over me. I thought to myself, "Surely there's no way I was this horny back then." But then, the more I thought of it, the more I realized how much that was pure bullshit. As I stood there flashing back to EPICLY getting to 3rd base on the morning school bus commute, I remembered that I was exactly that horny back then.
In fact, there was even a specific code I abided by back then to "almost" safely navigate said horniness. The basic rules of engagement pretty much amounted to performing two simple actions:
1. Avoid doing anything around parents.
2. Avoid cock-blocking adults.
3. Do whatever you can get away with while staying aware of rules 2 and 3.
(Ok, I know that was three, but it just sounded so much easier if I said that there were only two things that you needed to do. Oh well, on with the show.)
Anyway, those were some crazy days. I mean, that shit was like the wild west of dick grinding, absolutely out of control. Which reminds of a story.
You see, once upon a time, a younger far less experienced me had THEE biggest crush on a girl named Tameka Mack. I mean this girl was a COLD TONI. And, maybe she liked me back, I don't know. But what I do know is that I used to suck on her massive titty-balls just about every day behind the bleachers in 10th grade weight training. Every now and then it would go a little further and there would be some intense dick/pussy rubbing and maybe a little kissing. I say maybe because Tameka used to really be on some "Are you gonna suck'em or not?" type action in those days and as soon as we got in the back she was smothering me with areolas and grinding against my left thigh. Which, of course, I was completely ok with. Matter of fact, I was practically overjoyed with it.
Isn't that crazy? I mean if a lady did something like that to me in the now-time, I. Would. Be. PISSED. Absolutely, FURIOUS. But back then... Hey, anything was plenty man, and was better than nan or nothing at all. (Book of Devin: Chapter 3 verse 7)
Well, weight training came and went. And me and Tameka soon found ourselves in other romantic situations around our sprawling high school campus.
*sigh*
She was a great girl.
And just like that I was no longer in a flashback scene. I was back on the train surrounded by jerks and people who look like jerks. I then paused to look down at these two young souls boldly embarking onto their journey of sexual discoveries and social embarrassment (in front of more than 150 people engaged in NYC public transportation), smiled to myself and thought, "enjoy it while it lasts you crazy kids..."
Then I looked down again and they were still going at it. My look of disgust and judgement immediately returned as I was like, "Really yall? Do I have to really to listen to yall swap spit and smeared lip gloss RIGHT next to me and my laptop case?" That's when I shiveringly remembered those (apparently still) long honored rules of engagement I told you guys about earlier, hurriedly grabbed my stuff and found my way to the opposite side of train.
SmH
Fucking teenagers.
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