As i sit here sweating profusely into my black socks and leather desk chair ( don't ask... Let's just say my furniture is less than "summer friendly" in fact, it's actually mostly "summer hot-as-fuck-ALL-THE-TIME" which was quite popular before I moved into this apartment for some reason back in DECEMBER! Here is the part where you imagine me kicking myself furiously, And. Scene) I say to myself, "Self, what will the topic be today?" Well, after receiving no reply or justification for referring to myself in the third person. I am left with the most current thought that springs to mind.
G. Y. H. A. O. M.
This one is going to be short and sweet dope fiends. The concept is not to hard to grasp, yet incredibly foreign to some of you lady types. So we will make it simple.
1. Contrary to some ill-gotten idea you dreamed up, I am not sweating underneath you because of anxiety or physical exhaustion. Listen we aren't doing anything but laying around watching tv. Sexual relations were exed out of the equation as soon as I walked into this tropical rain forest you call an apartment. So, please realize that I am only sweating because the sun has turned your apartment into a 2010 EasyBake Oven. Ma'am seriously, GET. YOUR. HOT. ASS. OFF. ME.
your apartment2. It is 11pm and its 97 degrees outside, and 98.6 degrees IN YOUR MOUTH! Why are you all up in my face right now?
3. That fan AINT. DOING. SHIT. Seriously.
4. Did you really just get under some covers? (Sigh and a half) Maam, it is Blazing Hip Hop and R&B in here (shout out to @kamarichelsea TPG up!) you might have to let go of that "Are you afraid of the dark" sensation, and come out those covers. Unless you want to find out how it feels to have a heat stroke.
5. Is there a reason why you use your air conditioner like it's the last wish in the lamp? I'm pretty sure turning that thing on for a couple hours will not send you to the poor house. Besides it feels like Satan is tap dancing on the door knob in here.
6. I was serious about that fan (sigh).... see number 3.
And trust me, I like to snuggle up as much as the next non-snugglephobe... but this summer heat wave has quickly given me a change of heart. And, until the Fire Nation stops attacking my bedroom, you guys might as well consider me the Grinch Who Stole Snuggling. That's all I got.
Also, Airbender sucked.
-Peace
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