The Hardest Part of Breaking Up...

Maybe I'm love sick, maybe I'm sick of love.

Or maybe I just finished watching 500 Days of Summer and I'm feeling some sort of way right now. (If you haven't seen the movie, see it. It features Joseph Gordon-Levitt who was the shiznit in Inception).

Either way, I'm sick. And now I will infect you all. (Poor choice of words, sorry.)

It has come to my attention that the hardest part of breaking up is getting back your stuff. That is in fact a song by 2Ge+her. Actually, the hardest part of breaking up is really breaking up. Without delving into my very dark and mysterious past, I would like to outline some "break up" situations that some people you know, or maybe even you have been in.

The 1,2,3 Break Up

This is the classic break up that if you've ever been in love, you will know what I mean. It's the break up that is not really official until after the third time you break up. The first time you break up it's because of frustration, some mistake that he or she makes gets you upset that you make this rash "decision". But it's not a decision at all because 2 days later, you guys are back together. The second break up happens because you two are probably fed up with each other and have grown complacent in your fights and bickering. After this break up, the only thing that will bring you back together is the fact that you don't know what else to do. Sad truth is that your both hurt and just want to be there for each other. (This is where you go awwwww). This is the unexpected break up. The third break up is the last straw. The "damn, we can't keep breaking up and getting back together, this is ridiculous". After this one, its over, for real. If its not, then you have just entered the 'Count in Break Up" (1, 2, 3, 4..)

It's Not You, It's Me Break Up

C'mon, we've all been on one side of this break up at some point. This break up comes like the end of a bad dream. You don't really know how you got to this point but you know it's time for it to end. But, your significant other hasn't given you any reason to break up. They've been nice, caring, considerate, passionate but they are missing that one thing. The "I want to stay with you" factor. So, you say those infamous words..."it's not you babe, it's me" and boom, instant break up right...WRONG. This break up usually leaves the dumped party confused, angry and in a very bad scenarios, a stalker.

The Break

By far my least favorite of the break ups. This is more or less the pussy version of breaking up if you will for a couple of reasons. For one, what the fuck is a break? It's like the nice version of saying "I've been thinking about breaking up with you for a while. I even talked to my friends who told me I should break up with you. But I haven't found someone to replace you with yet so I need to keep you off the market while I see what's up."

Or it's saying "I'm so pissed at whatever it is you did right now that I don't want to be with you. But I'm sure I'll be over it in a couple of days so I just want to make you nervous right now."

A break is a timeout from a relationship. But when you take a timeout, you know you’re coming back, so a break would seem redundant now wouldn’t it. “Let’s break up for a couple of days and get back together.” But why the fuck would we “break” if the point was to stay together. That’s like not talking for a little while. We should just do that, stop talking. I’ve never seen the NY Football Giants take a timeout and decide “fuck this game, I’m out.”

The Fallout Break Up

This one is the simplest break up of them all. Usually, one party does something so unforgiving that…you can’t forgive them. And you both realize that you’re just hurting each other and you decide to fuck off before you both fucking kill each other.

So, the moral of the story is that we will all end up alone and die, right, NO. That is not the moral of this story. The moral is, there isn’t any moral. You will probably find yourself in one of these situations, and you will probably be hurt. I guess the moral is don’t string bad relationships along.

The problem is that great relationships and bad relationships will both have heartache and turmoil and the only way to differentiate between the two is to explore it, get your heart broken and hopefully find someone who won’t break it anymore…on purpose at least.

Break up to make up is a song, a very good song. It's only good once in a while though. Start hearing it too much and you might get sick of it...get it.

Oh, Inception was DA BOMB DIGGIDY.