“Damn, these niggas ain’t post since December. They ain’t no real bloggers, they just phonies!”
And you’d be correct. We haven’t posted since December but real bloggers we are.
And that’s why our New Year’s Resolution is to write more consistently on this here old blog.
Another question may spring to mind:
“Ain’t it February niggas? Didn’t we celebrate Martin Luther The KANG Day already? Didn't Valentine's Day just pass”
And again, the answer is yes. And please stop calling us niggas. We are human beings too...damn.
As you know, most niggas make silly New Year’s Resolutions that come February, they have already
forgot about them. SO we decided to bypass that shit and just start in February. Now we only have to
keep this charade up for 11 more months, and that’s better than 12.
Oh, so you don’t believe me about my theory on New Year’s Resolutions, well isn’t that perfect. Let’s
take a look at some of the NYR’s some of you and your friends may have already failed at.
“I’m going to go to the gym 3 times a week”
Sure you went to the gym 3 times a week. And I mean that. You did go to the gym 3 times a week that
first week of the New Year. But then shit got real. Food got good. Drinks got served and by the 3rd week in Jan, you were down to once a weekend. But it’s all good. I don’t hate.
Get that summer body right in your mind.
Your mind has now shifted into the “I’ll go the gym when I’m too broke for happy hour” mood. This doesn’t last long as your gym membership expires for more happy hour money. We’ve all been here before. But fret not; come March, you’ll be right back making false promises.
“I’m going to find a new man/woman”
My favorite one of all. For a lot of you all, 2011 was a miserable year for love. You got cheated on.
The person you were talking to didn’t want to get serious. Your significant other left for inappropriate
dealings with a former flame (or at least threatened it). The point is you live alone, you die alone. And
for this set of people, dying alone is no longer an option for this year. So how’s the soulmate hunting
going? Well, after hitting the club every weekend, happy hour 3 nights a week and the bookstore you
happened to stumble into, your back at stage one. Alone. And now you’ve entered the “I’m going to tell myself I’m not going to meet anyone in hopes that my cynical approach leads someone to me” phase.
Good luck and Godspeed with that bullshit.
“I’m going to focus on getting that promotion/new job”
And so you did. That first week back to work, you stayed overtime, extra time and sacrificed a weekend. You felt fucking amazing. Then week 2 came and after a Sunday of drinking, Monday sucked and you left early. The rest of the week you were out by 4:56pm. When your supervisor asked you to work this weekend, you almost cursed them out for the audacity to ask you some crazy shit. And now we’re back to normal.
And you hate your job again. And so fuck the promotion, it's time to put in your two weeks and fly this coop. But you can't really put in your two weeks until you find that new job and in this economy and your complacency, it is going to be tough. But I admire your ability to say things and not follow through, simply amazing.
Whatever you may be, take my advice and hold off on making NYR’s at New Year’s. Besides, the Chinese think you’re stupid too. New Year’s is closer to February…or September for all my Jewish brothers out there.
SHALOM niggas.
