Monday, October 10, 2011

The Marriage... LEASE?

What’s good Dope Fiends?

So I see that my colleagues, Mr. Et Cetra and Mr. Grab It had a discussion about marriage and I was not included because I’m a “dick”.

Here’s what really happened…

You know how on a lot of workplace TV shows there’s always an episode where Person A will go to an event/meeting that the Boss put together. The Boss will approach Person A and say, “Hey Person A. Nice tie. Have you seen Person B?”

Person A: “No, Boss. I haven’t. I guess Person B didn’t care enough about your event to come.” Or some smartass comment like that.

Person B will then rush in at the last minute and reveal to the Boss that Person A lied about the details or never told them about the event. Person A is, in the end, exposed as a selfish jerk who only wanted to make Person B look bad in order to get ahead…

Hi, I’m Person B.

And Ric and Reg are Person A. They suck so bad that it takes two of them to make one Person.

And although they suck, I do admit that the topic of marriage is a good one to talk about. Here are my thoughts…

DISCLAIMER: I did not read Ric and Reg’s entry. Why? Because that shit was long as fuck. So forgive me if I repeat some ideas/thoughts.

I hate when I hear women talk about they wanna get married by a certain age.

Wait a second, Troo! There are some men who wanna get married by a certain age too!

Yes. Once again Person-who-shouts-in-italics, you are correct. However, as a heterosexual male, I’m only giving a damn about how women think/feel about marriage. As I plan on marrying a woman.

Yes, yes. Despite what you’re about to read, I do plan on getting married SOMEDAY.

“SOMEDAY”. Is that a terrible word, ladies, when we’re talking about marriage? Why is it that you HAVE TO be married before you turn 30 or 35? And you HAVE TO have your first child with your husband by age 28, 32, or whatever…


As much as you want to get married and have 2 little kids with good hair by the time you’re 33. You might not be ready until you’re 35. And that’s not a bad thing.

My fear is that women aren’t taking marriage as seriously as it should be taken. When you’re married, you’re with that person forever.

Forever? Forever, ever? Forever, ever?

That’s a long ass time to be with someone. And think about all the times you did something for YOURSELF just because YOU wanted to. When you’re married, there is no YOU. It’s Y’ALL. And remember, it’s gonna be Y’ALL…


Or does it?

In this country, where more than half or marriages end in divorce, I think we should take a new/different approach to marriage. Marriage should not be contract!

It should be a lease!

Uh… Troo…

Yeah, I said it! It had to be said!

Think about it. You and your fiancée sign a marriage lease for, let’s say, 10 years. For those 10 years, you’re married. Then once you hit that 10 year point, Y’ALL can decide to renew that lease for another 10 years or more, or Y’ALL can be like, “You know what… I don’t think YOU, ME, this US thing is working out. I, uh, think Imma not renew this thing. Deuces.”

Hey… It wouldn’t be a divorce. And it’s not like I’m saying we should get rid of traditional marriage. I’m just saying that this should be an option. Hell, you could get a marriage lease and then decide midway through…

“Hey forget this lease thing! Let’s get married and… MAKE IT LAST FOREVER. FOREVER!”

That’s what we, in the real estate world, like to call Rent-to-Own.


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