Thursday, September 29, 2011

When E-Thuggin' Goes Right?

I usually don't come here to vent...but ever since my friend and confidant Troo came at my neck in his last post, I think it's only appropriate to use this space for the same thing. However, because I am trying to maintain the privacy of certain parties involved, I'd like you to consider a hypothetical situation for me.

So if you smoke,
light up. If you drink , drink up. If you do neither, well... more power to you and the rest of the after school special crew you're down with.


Check out this hypothetical scenario...

So, let's say you were me.
And y'all know me, I'm just a ruggedly handsome, straight shooting, mostly-honest, type of guy.

So you're me, and as such, you have lots of friends. Some
male, some female. And let's just say that in this hypothetical situation, you and one of those female friends, back in the day, long, long, long, longlonglonglonglong time ago, you may have been really friendly with them. Then, we'll say that perhaps after a while, you and this friend stopped being so friendly and from that point forward remained just JUST FRIENDS, and that's it.
Not a crime, right?

But now let's say this certain female friend gets a boyfriend.

*Cue time machine music: "Flashlight" by Parliament*
(Fast-forward to about 1.5 years later)

That brings us to the hypothetical situation at hand. Said boyfriend has decided to aggressively and harrassingly Tweet you about "messing" with his girlfriend.

What do you do?

Do you let it be?
You understand that he must be upset about something and this is how he decided to release his frustrations. Hey, shit happens, and sometimes it happens to you. Plus, you understand that he's always felt a little uneasy about you being her friend. 


Do you respond to the fact that this nigga just bugged out?
It's possible that he has you confused for some other nigga, some nigga in his crew, or maybe someone he (imagined he) beat up in middle school.

Not sure.

Either way, he has disrespected you and even though you aren't quite the e-thug/clown he has show himself to be, maybe you should respond with a fury of venomous words on a public forum as well. Not on some e-thug shit tho, just to establish that you're against what has been said about you.

Why did they do it you?

Who knows? The thoughts and motives of the common e-thug/gangster/clown are pretty mysterious to you.

So (again) what do you do?

You make the right choice. You do not respond.

INSTEAD, you decide to hit your female friend up, ask her if she knows anything about her boyfriends most recent dumb ass move. She explains that it stems from a conversation you two had the other day. Also, during said conversation, you two got caught up, made jokes, shared advice, and wished each other the best into the future.

Nothing more, nothing less.

However, said boyfriend is up in arms about a joke that was said (perhaps he was reading the transcripts of our convo?), and because of this, what does he do?

Well, like any real man who has a problem with another man, he goes on Twitter,and airs out his grievances. #sarcasm

What then ensues is quite the temper tantrum involving exactly 3 tweets, all of which are simply oozing with insecurity (poor guy). One of them even directly @mentions you (#OUCH).

*Cue short time machine music for your 1.5 hour commute home from work*
And now you're here, and in the back of your head you hear Mufasa saying...

And you start thinking...

Well, who are you? Well, for one, you are a person who doesn't actually give a FUCK. Not one singular eff word. Not even a half of one. Not even a fffffffff.

In fact, you find it to be incredibly amusing that he's so emotional about the situation at all.

You then kick around the idea of responding, just for the hell of it...
You know, have some fun, show off the photoshop skills you picked up in college and start posting doctored photos of him. You think of how many clever things you can come up to say in 140 characters or less about his ego, his insecurities, his complete and utter

I mean, you've been accused of wrong-doings before, and yes, some of them you are even fully-responsible for. Although honestly, most of that stuff was Troo Alquemist though, people just mix you guys up all the time for some reason.

But this time, you did nothing wrong, and
Troo, well Troo has never even met this lady. You were actually wishing your female friend luck in her new long distance relationship. You know... being a good friend. Somewhere in those previous two sentences would be your cherry on top tweet.
Instead, you then go home, open your Mac or PC, log on to the blog that you and your two friends write, and you proceed to write a scathing blog about:
A) Insecure ass dudes who feel their girl can slip away from them at any moment because they're doing so many things WRONG. 

B) Dudes who would rather @MENTION you on twitter than sending you a text message or giving you a call, because somehow sending it over twitter and making it public makes dude a real fucking gangsta (yes, GANGSTA with an A...dudes like this are too stupid to spell it with an a matter of fact, they're actually too gangsta to spell it with an ER).

C) Dudes who put their girlfriends in potentially harmful situations. And dudes who would like to provoke you into blogging about how friendly you and said dude's girlfriend were, where you were friendly at, and just how frequently you two were, *ahem* friendly. 

Afterwards though, you have a change of heart. You decide against doing it. You realize that there's no reason for you to even get close to that level of ridiculousness. You decide that you're totally above going out and embarrassing this guy. And you move on to do other things.

It still irks you a little to know that this guy would wile out like that. So then you think, "maybe you should say something?"

And therein lies the problem dear reader.

How exactly do you go about conveying a response to someone...

Without actually responding to them.

And, of course, not using Twitter?


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