This morning, as I held the door for the person
leaving McDonald's behind me (Why? Because I'm not a douchebag is why. Seriously, don't be
a dick, hold the door for the person behind you... It makes the world a better place), I noticed how ashy my hands were. Well, not really my whole hand, just the
web of skin between my thumb and forefinger and the one between my ring and
pinky finger. And it made me think of THIS SONG because this is the DEFINITION of "not pimpin". And I know
what you're probably saying...
So what? You're saying you didn't know you were walking
around looking like the second coming of Ashy Larry? Yea, right! I bet your
ashy ass looks like that all of the days.
Well, to that I say three things. First, what the
hell is "All of the days?" Who talks like that?
Second, since when did my italic interrogator become
such an a-hole? Jeez... That was borderline mean. And cmon son! Ashy Larry? I was not that bad... not completely anyway.
And third, I did NOT know that! Thus the whole writing about it now in dismay thing. It was shocking. Ok, maybe shocking is a little bit
of overstatement, but it was definitely a little eyebrow-raising... I'm talking
half-raised eyebrows here, at the least. I mean I put lotion on those two areas
in copious amounts specifically to avoid such an ashy blunder, and yet... This still
happens to me ALL the time. What. The. Fuck.
And it's not like I missed my
hands. They're practically the only thing I put lotion ON. It goes something
like *squirt squirt* lotion hands up to elbows then face, and then I'm done. And to
any ladies that might happen across this post, the answer is yes. That is fucking it.
I have no idea how (or why)you guys use more lotion than that. And yet here I
am walking into work with ashy ass knuckles.
I don't know what all this surprise is about, I'm
not really a person you know. You write everything I say.
See that's what I'm talking about there you go
again flapping your smart ass mouth.
Whatever man, all I know is you just spent an entire post talking about your stupid ashy ring fingers... This blog is ridiculous.
You're ridiculous!
*Sigh*
Says the man having an argument with the imaginary friend he made up a few paragraphs ago?
Wait, did you just sigh? You do not sigh. I sigh... Me. And there will be no sighing from you... Got that? And we are not friends.
Fine by me.
*Judgmental exhale*
...
I hate you.
Lmao...ash free is the way to be! And you mean to say you don't lotion your legs? They must look an ashy mess then in that case, I shudder to even think.
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