I Got The Hook Up Unnnnnhhhh!!!!!

Dope fiends!

Whatup with ya? So recently, I went out to lunch with the homies (yes, the homies do lunch, in fact, they do the hell out of it) And it just so happens that this Italian fellow by the name of Aldo works at this restaurant. Now that actually becomes important to the story because Aldo lives in my building, so I see him all the time. A!!!!

Aldo proceeds to lay out everything for us. Drinks are pouring and specialty Italian brick-oven pizzas are coming out (as appetizers!), then came the main course AND IT WAS INSANE. Basically, we are having the lunch of the century. I mean, we were in there getting FUCKED UP, laughing making ignorant-ass toasts, singing, alla that. So a couple hours pass, Aldo comes out asking us do we want some dessert and we realize that we may have overstepped our boundaries here and actually will be paying out the ass for all this food and drinks (i mean we got 3 bottles of wine - def wilin' out). Aldo comes out again with the tab, asking us did we have a good time and good food, the yes' were resounding. The check comes out and says $41...

This used to be my shit!

WHAT

THE

FUCK!!!

Ok, so maybe we were a little drunk but its four of us at the table and the tab comes out to a forty one dollar total? SHHEEEEEE-IT. We left Aldo like a 35 dollar tip. (You aint know the homies was ballin like that? Sike.) It was the least we could do, I mean we thought we were at least droppin a twenty per person. So, had to show some love back to Aldo.

But that is crazy. I mean when I worked at McDonald's I used to hook my friends up all the time... but I was eventually fired for it. And I've been back a few more times after and the hook up is still going hard. So, am I wrong for taking advantage? I mean Aldo be coming off with the mean ass tip, but I don't want to see him lose his gig. But I do like having an expensive meal in a nice restaurant and not paying like it too. What do you guys think. I come through there about once a month or so. Am I wilin'? Should I fall back? If you say yes, I have to let you know that I'm still gonna be going. What? Fuck yall! I'm definitely gonna get it while the getting is good. But still if you think i'm being a dick (which isn't hard to imagine) tell me why or why not.

Well that's all I got for now Dope Fiends, until next time, picture me rolling.

Oh and one last thing Al, Ric: FUCK YOU!

Blogging is for Jerks

And now I'm a jerk too...

So, I have officially joined the Blogosphere, welcome to my world. And with said title, I find myself approaching a certain amount of self-discovery, that, while enlightening, makes me wonder, "why the hell would you make that the title of your first post?"

"Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time."(sigh)

And it did, but here I am, five sentences in, hacking away at my keyboard in a bath towel (special edition Star Wars: Return of the Jedi type, in case you were wondering... you perv). And I'm trying to figure out a way to make this interesting. Not so much interesting for you, the casual observer who may have come by this beautiful expression of words and ideas by chance, but moreso interesting to me. You see, now that I've started pushing this boulder up the mountain, I'd rather not stop (to play video games, watch movies and kiss girls - the order is of no importance) and then have to go all the way back down the mountain to start pushing the same rock again because "pushing rocks sucks". And we all know, pushing rocks CAN suck sometimes, but I think I can do it (push the rock, I mean. Hopefully, I won't suck).




Now, "why the boulder analogy?" you might ask. Well, the answer lies in my stupid compulsion to insert weak, barely-tethered analogies into conversations to distract people from the old subject while I start a new one. You know, like when you're putting on socks. It doesn't really matter if they match, as long as you keep your shoes on.

So, i'm a big fan of 75% of everything that I technically should of grown out of by now. Which basically includes cartoons, candy, my lucky Barry Sanders jersey, and the New York Knicks. I can't easily explain why I still love these things so much. Seeing as they sometimes separate me from good friends, healthy teeth, decent blood circulation, or my obvious sanity (D'Antoni why?!!!!). But, once I like something... Well, it's hard for me to let go of it. Which may also explain why I've had this ridiculous ThunderCats ringtone on my cellular device for the last six years. I know it sounds cool (to me mostly), but believe me, it can get a little awkward talking to adults with someone screaming "HOE!!!!!" outta your back pocket for a half a minute.

Well, that's all I'm going to write for now. I think that was a decent intro (90's hip-hop album quality at least). I promise in the future I'll definitely center these things around one topic, which I guess I could've done in the first place. But I didn't, and you know why I didn't? Well, I'm guessing you forgot what the title of this post was.