This weekend, as I prepared to go out I checked my bank account.
So as I prepared to stay in, I started thinking about why people wear their sunglasses at night. I usually do this because I'm high off my ass and my eyes are red like the devil. Of course, when I asked myself this question, I was on a unholy high and I could barely keep the thought in my head before I started singing these lyrics.
"I wear my sunglasses at night...so I can hmm hmmm hm hm hmmmm."
And that was exactly what I said. Because like you reader, I don't know the next lyric in the damn song. No one does. In fact, I bet you don't even know who sings the damn thing. But today all of that changes.
The man behind this hit record was a man named Corey Hart. I don't know much about the man and so everything written about him is based off of the video to this hit single and my Bill and Ted's excellent imagination.
According to the video, Corey Hart grew up with a slight rhythmic twitch in some kind of time in which the only way to avoid government brutality was to......
Wear one's sunglasses in the evening hours in which the sun was not shining.
The song goes onto further say that he is wearing his sunglasses to protect himself from a cheating woman, and not only will she cheat on him, but she will cut him too.
"Don't switch the blade on the guy in the shades, oh no."
What kind of woman will cheat on you AND THEN cut you. I'll tell you who, a woman in the 80's.
Don't believe me...listen to the song. I was confused as hell too. I still am confused.
WTF were they smoking in the 80's?
Crack. They smoked crack.
Either way, Corey Hart was found dead before his second single "I Wear My Pajamas to Work".
What I learned from this video and the life and times of Corey Hart is this...he wears his sunglasses at night so he can keep his visions in his head (that's the next lyric in the song people).
So as you venture out this Halloween ask yourself this,
Is your wearing of your sunglasses at night simultaneously supporting the Nazi like regime that ended the life of Corey Hart?
Yes, yes you are.
Cocaine is a hell of drug.
RIP Rick James.