Sunday, August 29, 2010

I Got The Hook Up Unnnnnhhhh!!!!!

Dope fiends!

Whatup with ya? So recently, I went out to lunch with the homies (yes, the homies do lunch, in fact, they do the hell out of it) And it just so happens that this Italian fellow by the name of Aldo works at this restaurant. Now that actually becomes important to the story because Aldo lives in my building, so I see him all the time. A!!!!

Aldo proceeds to lay out everything for us. Drinks are pouring and specialty Italian brick-oven pizzas are coming out (as appetizers!), then came the main course AND IT WAS INSANE. Basically, we are having the lunch of the century. I mean, we were in there getting FUCKED UP, laughing making ignorant-ass toasts, singing, alla that. So a couple hours pass, Aldo comes out asking us do we want some dessert and we realize that we may have overstepped our boundaries here and actually will be paying out the ass for all this food and drinks (i mean we got 3 bottles of wine - def wilin' out). Aldo comes out again with the tab, asking us did we have a good time and good food, the yes' were resounding. The check comes out and says $41...




Ok, so maybe we were a little drunk but its four of us at the table and the tab comes out to a forty one dollar total? SHHEEEEEE-IT. We left Aldo like a 35 dollar tip. (You aint know the homies was ballin like that? Sike.) It was the least we could do, I mean we thought we were at least droppin a twenty per person. So, had to show some love back to Aldo.

But that is crazy. I mean when I worked at McDonald's I used to hook my friends up all the time... but I was eventually fired for it. And I've been back a few more times after and the hook up is still going hard. So, am I wrong for taking advantage? I mean Aldo be coming off with the mean ass tip, but I don't want to see him lose his gig. But I do like having an expensive meal in a nice restaurant and not paying like it too. What do you guys think. I come through there about once a month or so. Am I wilin'? Should I fall back? If you say yes, I have to let you know that I'm still gonna be going. What? Fuck yall! I'm definitely gonna get it while the getting is good. But still if you think i'm being a dick (which isn't hard to imagine) tell me why or why not.

Well that's all I got for now Dope Fiends, until next time, picture me rolling.

Oh and one last thing Al, Ric: FUCK YOU!

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Yea, I Said That Shit.

So, there are two other guys on this blog besides me. And seeing as this is as good a time to say it as any, I'm going to part ways with cultural precedent and show some emotion toward another man; or in this case, men.

Fuck yall.


Troo AlQueMist FUCK YOU. And Richochet Grab It... you are an ASS.

Ha! That felt pretty good.

Ya see dope fiends, (which you really are @ this point if you are here - you definitely holding it down and still reading after that incredible unannounced hiatus this blog subjected you to) it has been almost a month since the last post was put up here. AND I KNEW THAT.

I knew that we hadn't put up one singular syllable since right before Lebron James shot a bird at the entire city of Cleveland on live national television. I knew that and I didn't do anything. I thought to myself, "Self, don't worry about it. Troo will pick up the slack. Or if not, God save us, Grab It will take the reigns and pull this tragic horse cart out of its non-posting ditch." Perhaps that was a little bit too much metaphor in a self-thought, but I was probably drunk or getting ignored by the pretty at the bar, more than likely both (but that is another story - also, probably one that I won't tell).

So, the responsibility finds itself placed properly at my feet. I will drag this mother fucking horse to the water and, if it doesn't drink, I'm gonna drown this bastard. From this point forward, thedopestblognameever will have posts regularly and, until further notice, beef among its founding members that just started today. So Ric, I just left a burning bag of shit in front of your door after rubbing it all over your door knob. And Misty, I was gonna key your car, but since you don't have one I cut your bus pass in two. Fuck Yall. (the period should be said out loud, so it reads "FUCK YALL!!! Period." #justsayin)

"You think you can do this shit to me?!!!"

Whatsup Dope Fiends, its a new day.