A Sunday Message

Every so often.....a girl comes around that changes everything you believe in, makes you want to be a better person just for her and I am happy to say...that bitch still evades me. Instead, it has been a string of hook-ups, break-ins and break-ups that has led me to this conclusion.

You don't want me for me, you just want THE DICK.

That's right, THE DICK. Now, your probably saying to yourself: "Self, I already knew girls were running shit so what new light can you, Ricochet, shed on this topic?"

Nothing. The situation is what it is. But I would like to take this time out and dedicate this entry to my sistahs, hermanas and sisters (that's for the white girls) who are in control of their vaginas both mentally and physically. And seeing as it is Sunday, I think it would be especially nice to bless these women Beatitudes style.

And Ricochet hopped up on his soap box and asked "who among you still makes soap boxes?"And then he spoke these things, saying: 

Blessed are the poor in the dick: for theirs is the Ben and Jerry's and a vibrator.

Blessed are they that mourn over the dick: for they shall be comforted by bi-curiosity.

Blessed are the meek in the dick: for they be destined to inherit a good man, but will end up marrying down.

Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after the dick: for they shall be filled with STD's and multiple Maury Show appearances.

Blessed are the merciful over the dick: for they shall always be the fuck friend.

Blessed are the pure in the dick: for they have lied.

Blessed are the peacemakers over the dick: for they shall always be the DUFF to keep you away from making a great decision.

Blessed are they which are persecuted for the dick's sake: for hating bitches are going to hate.

And Blessed be Uncle Ben, the real black Jesus.